Frequently Asked Questions
- "Who are you guys?"
- We're TNG-AZ: The Next Generation of Kink and Fetish in Arizona. We're a Phoenix-based social and educational group embracing all fetishes for people ages 18-39.
- "What makes you different from other fetish groups?"
- There are other fetish groups in Arizona, but we're geared specifically for those new to BDSM and other fetishes. We're the kinky wading pool, where you can get your feet wet in a comfortable, safe environment. We have kinky play parties where you won't run into your parents, but will instead have an opportunity to learn from, and play with, people closer to your own age.
- "What does 'BDSM' mean?"
- This is a telescoping acronym:
B/D = bondage and discipline
D/S = dominance and submission
S/M = sadism and masochism. - "What kinds of things are people into?"
- Well, a short list would include
shoes, bondage, role play, furries, flogging, ice, corsets, fire play, bastinado, sensation play, dominance & submission, vampires, leather, caning, chains, armbinders, latex, foot worship, discipline, collars, stilettos, violet wands, strappado, gags, blood play, pony play, spanking, power exchange, masks, tickling, body painting, piercing, age play, goth, service, punishment, knives, masochism, PVC, shibari, shackles, mind games, riding crops, hoods, leashes, hypnotism, suspension, voyeurism, rituals, clover clamps, CBT, cross dressing, TENS units, cuffs, hot wax, blindfolds, paddling, struggling, rope, sensory deprivation, pain, pleasure, cupping, obedience, body modification, teasing, spreader bars and cages.
This list is by no means complete. Perhaps you can help us add to it. - "How can I join you?"
- Register through our registration page. Our membership officer will send a few questions back for you to answer, and you answer them. After all, we want to make sure you're not a spambot. (Fembots are welcome.) Then you become an Unpaid member, with access to the TNG general forum and calendar of events. Then, once you've attended a public event, you can come to parties.
There's also Paid membership. For $10 a year you get a discount on entry to parties, plus the right to vote in TNG's elections.
- "What kind of events does TNG have?"
- We have two kinds of events. Public events include social gatherings at coffee houses, ice cream shops, restaurants, etc.
We also have private events. These include discussions, demonstrations and the sexy parties you've heard about. They're usually held in a private home, but occasionally we reserve a dungeon. You must attend at least one public event before you will be permitted to attend a party event.
Take a look at our calendar of upcoming events
- "What kinds of things are taught at demos?"
- Oh, all sorts of things. Past demos subjects have included rope bondage, knifeplay, fireplay, flogging, electricity, fisting, needles, oral sex, CBT, you name it. You can check out a partial list.
- "Why can't I just come to a party right away?"
- We've found through experience that it's better if you attend a public event first. It gives us a chance to get to know you, and vice versa. Sometimes people doing or discussing kinky things in a private home can feel uncomfortable if those watching or listening are total strangers. It also makes the new people more comfortable if they already know at least someone.
- "What's going to happen to me at a public event?"
- Nothing scary. We don't bite (unless you want us to). Coffees are occasions for us to get together, chat with friends, and meet new people. We know it can be a little intimidating being the new person in a crowd of people who already know each other, but we do make an effort to say "Hi" to new people. Say "Hi" back.
- "What's going to happen to me at a play party?"
- Nothing. At least, not if you don't want it to. We have a strict policy of touch-by-consent-only, so no one is going to play with you, or even give you a hug, without your permission. And it's perfectly okay not to play: at any given moment most people are not engaged in play. No one will be offended by your not wanting to play with them. Some members have spent a year just socializing and not playing at all. Others dive right in and start playing right away.
For your first demo or play party you will be given an orientation so that you know our code of conduct and the basic etiquette of the BDSM community. Please be sure to arrive within the first hour of the party, so that we can do all the new people's orientations together. Be sure to bring a photo ID
- "Where do you hold your parties?"
- Most frequently at the homes of members who volunteer to host. Occasionally we rent out a dungeon.
- "How do I get the address to a discussion, demo or play party?"
- Well, first you should join the group and attend a public event, as described above. Joining gives you access to the general forum on our website, but addresses to parties are posted in the Paid Members' forum. So how do you get a Paid membership? You can buy one at a demo or play party.
Yes, it's a Catch-22, but there are many more people in our general forum than we have ever actually met. As our parties are held at private residences, many of our hosts prefer the added security of knowing that their address will be given only to people who express an interest in coming. Every member, paid or unpaid, has the right to come to every one of our events, and you can get the address by e-mailing the programming chair, preferably through TNG's website.
- "What's appropriate to wear to a party or a demo?"
- Whatever you want. Some people stay in their regular street clothes. Some dress up in fetishwear, gothwear, or whatever their fantasies dictate. Some even go (*gasp*) naked. We do ask you to remain street legal while going between your car and the door.
- "Are there any subjects that are no-nos (like politics? religion? juggling geese?)"
- Although TNG embraces most fetishes, there are a few truly taboo subjects. We do not allow bestiality, necrophilia or pedophilia. In fact, we don't even allow discussion of these subjects.
- "I'm looking for a new submissive/Dominant. Can I put out a personal ad through you guys?"
- TNG is not a dating service, and we provide no guarantee that you will "get some". We do provide social occasions where people can get together, meet new people, discuss things, and play. We don't permit personal ads on our forum.
In fact, if your post to the forum includes your personal address or phone number, or it looks like you're just trolling for anyone willing to play with you, the address, phone number or entire post may be deleted by the forum moderator. We take the safety of our members very seriously. If you want to find someone to play with, come out to our events. Get to know us and let us get to know you.
- "I'm afraid that if I join my roommate/friends/employer/mother will find out. Should I be afraid?"
- TNG takes confidentiality seriously. We have members who work in medicine, in law enforcement, in teaching, and we're sensitive to the fact that many of our members are not "out" to their family and friends. Everyone who attends a party is required to understand and agree to our confidentiality policy. What happens in TNG stays in TNG.
- "I'm worried that you guys'll think what I'm into is really weird."
- Don't worry, we've seen it all before. And if your fetish is something we haven't seen, please tell us---we'd love to see something new.
- "I'm worried that you guys'll think I'm not kinky enough."
- Don't worry, everyone starts out inexperienced. No one will make fun of you for just sitting back and watching.
- "Are you affiliated with any other fetish groups in Phoenix?"
- We don't have full reciprocity with any other group, but we do have a Strategic Alliance with APEX. We have some joint events, and if you're a paid member of TNG you can present your TNG card to get a discount on your APEX membership.
- "Are there any good books on BDSM?"
- Yes. Yes, there are. They include
- Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns, by Philip Miller and Molly Devon
- SM101, by Jay Wiseman
- The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage, by Midori.
- "I'm aged 18-39, but my significant other/Master/slave is over 40. What can we do?"
- Your partner can't become a member right away, but can come to most parties as your guest once you become a member. (They also have to attend a public event first.) You have to be at the party when they are. After a period of time your partner can petition to become an associate member.